The world shatters for children of divorce.  Once upon a time they had mom and dad together in the same house.  Maybe mom and dad fought all the time, but at least they were there.  Now they live with one parent while the other is someplace else.  Regardless of who is the custodial parent,
they both need to work together to make this difficult time easier on the kids.

Parents who are going through a divorce are sometimes wrapped up in the failure of the marriage.  They spend an inordinate amount of time pointing fingers and making the other parent suffer.  Broken hearts and feelings of betrayal abound in the divorcing household.  Sometimes children, who are completely innocent, are forgotten in the heat of battle. 

Deciding who will be the custodial parent is at times a source of bitter and angry feelings.  When parents fight over who will live with the children and who will move out of the house the children will feel torn in two different directions.  They love both of their parents and feel a certain amount of loyalty to both.  Parents who are in the midst of divorce can see this love and loyalty for the other parent as a betrayal of them. 

As difficult as it will be, parents need to put their angry feelings toward their estranged spouse on the back burner.  Children do not need to hear the details of the breakdown of their parent’s marriage.  These angry words should be reserved for when the children are not around.  The custodial parent who is around the children more often than the non-custodial parent is most susceptible to this behavior.  At times the only one available to talk to is the child.  No matter how much a parent needs to vent their feelings, the children are inappropriate resources. 

Counseling for children during a divorce is probably the smartest thing divorcing parents can do.  Whether or not their children seem like they are having a problem with the divorce.  It can never hurt for children to talk to someone who is not one of their parents.  Custodial parents will see the problems their children face up close and personal.  They must be aware of what is going on with the kids despite what they are going through. 

During a divorce, custodial and non-custodial parents must show the children that they are loved and will always be cared for no matter what is going on with their marriage.  The foundation of the children’s world has collapsed and parents must be sensitive to this fact.